I am in real trouble, Need help.?

I am in very deep love with a female for last 3 yrs, she widow and 10 yrs elder to me and have kids too. I married her without anybody,s knowledge becos i like her like anything. I can,t live without her. I was doing my studies that time, then my parents came to know this matter then everything gone very bad my parents harresed me like anything to make me forget her, then my studies gone everything gone. i can,t live without her, i know that things are very tuff for me, i like to die than living more in this hell world. My love is sincer never cheated her, but i have no stands in this world i am just zero i have to listen to parents everything they do is right, I have my own needs and likes, i can,t live with a female whom i don,t like. People may think i am mad but i can,t leave her. Some may tell its foolish or stupidty to marry a elder female or she is cunning or trap. Some tells thats this marriage may create problem in future, then i can ask one thing is there any gurrantee in any marriage wheather love or arrange, divorcee can happen at anytime . Only thing is sincerity and understand that both i can see in her. Many worst problem happened to her from my parents side but till she is with me thinking that everything is going to fine and we are going to stay together again. Is very stuff to get a good female who really love to the deep heart with sincerity. She is still with me becos she knows that i want her very much. She does not need a earning husband becos she is working. But i have lost all hope now i feel that i am making her to wait for a never fullfill dream. Just can,t any more problem in my life cos i have suffered a lot, i feel better to die than suffering any more.